Senior thoughts

Emails

Emails – May, 2012
I check the email 2-3 times per day.   Looking for an email from my friend, Anne, who lives in Mexico.   She is 85 yrs. and has had many health problems the last few years.     We email back and forth at least once a week and usually more.   She is my sister at heart.      So….. no emails for over a week – why?    I have tried contacting her daughter, her sister and her niece thru email to enquire if there is something amiss.     No answers.     Has she died?    In the hospital for some medical procedure?   Will she be able to continue making contact with me?   Is this the end of that relationship?  
 There are so few people that I have comfort in sharing with.   To lose even one friend is sad.   Sad doesn’t seem a strong enough word to express what I feel.   I’m not scared of death.   If I hear that she has died I will not be surprised.  Lonely for a person who knows my history, who understands, with whom I don’t have to fill in all the minute detail in order for them to understand what I’m talking about.    They know me well enough to know my values, how I may react to certain events and when they are gone there is that void.   I can talk to myself, journal my thoughts, however, the comfort of having a god friend who really hears me is no longer there.
So… I hope I will hear from her soon.   I hope that she has not died.   Not yet.

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