November Ebbtides

Rereading posts from past Novembers.  Always the time of year when I tend to move downward emotionally.    Have learned to live with it.  No longer attempt to “be happy”.
This Thanksgiving we had dinner with our son.   We met at a nondescript restaurant half way between his home and ours.   The visit was good.  My son seems to be happy and relaxed.  Seeing him in a good place certainly lifts my spirits.   Our attempts to get together with the whole family never seem to be successful.    Family all have different needs and tend to go different directions.   This year I had decided to offer my home for the get together.  For a variety of reasons that didn’t work for many so in the end we ended up meeting our son at the restaurant.  The holidays in Southern California are fraught with traffic congestion which makes travelling any distance almost impossible.   So, we plan ahead with the traffic in mind, however, rarely do the plans work out.
I need to remind myself next year not to plan with family.  The frustration of not getting together, plans being constantly changed, the sense of loss when we do not see them does not help my state of being.
Tomorrow may be better.   We’re having neighbors/friends over for eats.  Getting to know some new neighbors.  Forcing myself to socialize.  Rereading this post and feeling guilty at sounding depressed.  Now that is ridiculous!!  I feel what I feel.

Grist Mill, WVA.

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