Dear God, where did I put that bill from the electric company. It’s in the pile with all the other bills, junk mail, old opened mail, lists of things to do, things I need to buy, reminders to myself of events. Too many things to do, too many pieces of paper. I don’t have time now, have to go and pick the kids up from school, then stop by the market and buy groceries for dinner, then do a load of laundry. I am tired all the time, Most of the time I eat the right things, I certainly don’t get enough of the right kind of exercise, however, I run my legs off all day long. I used to be able to do all this and still stay on top of the bills, the chores, the schedules of the kids. Now I just feel overwhelmed. I feel down frequently. The kind of down that draws your face muscles down and you feel as if your entire lower face is going to fall off. Everything irritates me. I don’t want to try new things, meet new people, go anywhere, buy or wear new clothes. Why put on pretty clothes when I feel tired and ugly.
I should go to the doctor to see if there is something wrong with me other than menopause. I don’t like taking medicine since I should be able to get over these feelings. Women for centuries have had these symptoms and done without medicine. Maybe I’ll go to the doctor, not sure yet.
I feel like a package with the wrapping ripped off and now everything is falling out. Crawling skin, tearful, nervous, worried, preoccupied, suspicious.