Dear God,  where did I put that bill from the electric company.    It’s in the pile with all the other bills, junk mail, old opened mail, lists of things to do, things I need to buy, reminders to myself of events.   Too many things to do, too many pieces of paper.  I don’t have time now, have to go and pick the kids up from school, then stop by the market and buy groceries for dinner, then do a load of laundry.   I am tired all the time,   Most of the time I eat the right things,   I certainly don’t get enough of the right kind of exercise, however, I run my legs off all day long.     I used to be able to do all this and still stay on top of the bills, the chores, the schedules of the kids.    Now I just feel overwhelmed.   I feel down frequently.   The kind of down that draws your face muscles down and you feel as if your entire lower face is going to fall off.  Everything irritates me.   I don’t want to try new things, meet new people, go anywhere, buy or wear new clothes.     Why put on pretty clothes when I feel tired and ugly.

I should go to the doctor to see if there is something wrong with me other than menopause.  I don’t like taking medicine since I should be able to get over these feelings.   Women for centuries have had these symptoms and done without medicine.    Maybe I’ll go to the doctor, not sure yet.

I feel like a package with the wrapping ripped off and now everything is falling out.    Crawling skin, tearful, nervous, worried, preoccupied, suspicious.    


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