Christmas 2016

DECEMBER 25, 2016

The same and different.  The family gathers Christmas Eve.  90% of family in a good place, laughing, sharing expecially the $ gifts which all need.   A grandson who loves being away in college sharing his experience.  A son who is moody and withdrawn, his daughter buried in her iphone addiction, unable to “be” with family , a wife not comfortable being there.  Holidays require a lot of pretending.   The blanket that holds us all together is stretched and thin   I’m supposed to be and yet I’m not the way they want me to be is the expectation.   IF it were possible to just “be” with this large group of loving people without feeling you need to “be” a certain way.   What is a mother, grandmother, aunt, uncle, son, husband, wife, teenage daughter?  We get so trapped in these roles that we stop paying attention to what the other is feeling or thinking.    Sometimes just being who we are is risky.  IF one of these people dies today or tomorrow will I be satisfied that I have been authentic with them, cared for them, loved them?  
December. 25. 2016


AS  Time Goes By.   Another year past, like a comma in our lives.   
Christmas memory:  Mother who is a nurse is working, she gets home 5pm, tired and looks weary.   WE have been invited to her friend’s home for Christmas dinner, my younger brother age 7 and I age 12 along with my Mother.    Their home looks lovely; a big tree with lots of lights, the house is warm, there are blankets on all the couches and chairs and the smell of food cooking fills the room.     Marie, her daughter, age 14, sits in a wheelchair nearby.  This is my first meeting with her.   I am shy, not sure what to say. She extends a hand to me.  Her hands are curved back toward her wrists. She smiles and we are past the awkwardness of how different we are and yet also how very much the same.  I’ve made a friend.    

var skin = {}; skin[‘BORDER_COLOR’] = ‘#cccccc’; skin[‘ENDCAP_BG_COLOR’] = ‘#e0ecff’; skin[‘ENDCAP_TEXT_COLOR’] = ‘#333333’; skin[‘ENDCAP_LINK_COLOR’] = ‘#0000cc’; skin[‘ALTERNATE_BG_COLOR’] = ‘#ffffff’; skin[‘CONTENT_BG_COLOR’] = ‘#ffffff’; skin[‘CONTENT_LINK_COLOR’] = ‘#0000cc’; skin[‘CONTENT_TEXT_COLOR’] = ‘#333333’; skin[‘CONTENT_SECONDARY_LINK_COLOR’] = ‘#7777cc’; skin[‘CONTENT_SECONDARY_TEXT_COLOR’] = ‘#666666’; skin[‘CONTENT_HEADLINE_COLOR’] = ‘#333333’; skin[‘NUMBER_ROWS’] = ‘4’; google.friendconnect.container.setParentUrl(‘/’ /* location of rpc_relay.html and canvas.html */); google.friendconnect.container.renderMembersGadget( { id: ‘div-2340263134669816420’, site: ‘04987887884667086153’ }, skin);

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s