Now that the relationship has ended perhaps your cancer will diminish. I’m so happy you finally made the decision to sever the relationship with him. Pretending that all is well is like denying that you have cancer. The cancer is in the relationship so I am hopeful that now you will have a long and healthy life.
Perhaps when you son was killed the heirarchy of meeting each other’s needs shifted and the “family” became more important that the two of you. Humans are strange animals. Despite all the civilized talk about society, family, children, home and security we find ourselves coming back to the basics. We are selfish and have really basic needs to be the “most important” to another person.
So, this “bad” thing that has occurred in your life will hopefully be a “good” thing. Holding on to change is the cause of so much of our unhappiness. You are brave. A true Southern Woman who was instilled with the value that family was more important than the individual. Now comes your transiton to becoming a “New Southern Woman”.